Trust has two dimensions: depth and durability.

You may, for instance, have a long history with a close friend that you trust deeply. You could put the life of your child in their hands and you know they would do everything in their power to protect it.

Or, you may know someone where there is no depth; you wouldn’t trust them with a five dollar bill, much less something important. Perhaps a bully at school or a pathological liar with whom you must spend Thanksgiving.

There is also the dimension of durability. Life’s blessings and curses influence durability of trust. Money, power, personal catastrophe, fame, and mental illness can all shape ones’ propensity to take actions that would deem them untrustworthy. The more “blessings” or “curses” bestowed upon an individual, the more durability of trust may be impacted.

For example, I would trust my best friend to the end of time, all else equal. But if fame overcame him and his ego began to inflate, the durability of my trust in him might diminish. He hasn’t done anything to lose my depth of trust in him, but his circumstances may impact how likely he is to waiver in his ability to live up to my level of trust. The durability of my trust in him is compromised because famous and egotistical people have added temptations that others don’t. Fame and fortune and power can do incredible things to a person.

Similarly, if my best friend were to divorce, lose his job, default on his mortgage and become estranged from his kids, he may become desperate. Again, he hasn’t lost my depth of trust in him, but he’s in a more precarious position which means the durability of my trust in him could be in question. Desperation, too, can do incredible things to a person.

This does not mean that people with fame or wealth or desperation can’t be trusted deeply, it just means that there is a variable tipping point for everyone. Some people cave quickly to the pressures of life. Their trust is less durable.

Others are made of an admirable mettle that can’t be broken, whether flying high or in the trenches of life. Their trust is more durable.

Depth of trust requires sufficient time, depth of relationship, and genuine presence. Durability of trust is circumstantial and is a moving target that you must continually evaluate in your relationships.